The way that first day or week of school goes will have a lot to do with how the school year goes. A good start is essential and a good start to a school year begins with how children are readied for school at home and even when shopping. It begins with preparations that, taken or not taken, may make or break a child’s odds of benefiting from a year of educational opportunity.
Let’s have a look at what happens in the homes of successful students. Things that might seem small, count. When outfitting teens with school clothes, parents and kids sit down to figure out what outfits are needed. A few ground rules are set: “You’ll be shopping for school clothes, not leisure clothes. Buy what you need, not what you want.” Parents and kids cruise the mall together, taking notes on how much basic jeans, shirts, outerwear, sweats, socks, shorts, etc. cost. Another sit-down conference establishes a total for the youngster’s clothing needs.
It isn’t easy to let go of parental control and money at the same time but this is a time to hand over the cash and say, “Spend it wisely. See how far you can make it stretch.” More often than not, youngsters come home loaded with more clothes than parents expect—and they are proud of their frugal shopping. The style of a garment or two might make parents cringe a little but they will be far less radical than if kid-shoppers act out against overly controlling parents. Shopping for school clothing without parents hovering helps kids to stand a bit more proud. It is a small thing but being successful in small things is what sets them up to face their classes and teachers with confidence.
Parents take charge when it comes to establishing before-bedtime routines that make sure everything will be ready for the morning, like packing school things and laying out clothes. Rules minimize the possibility of morning tantrums because favorite jeans are still in the dryer. For older children, waking on time becomes their own responsibility. A loud alarm clock may be necessary but it can’t be positioned too close to the pillow. Parents rule when it comes to choosing breakfast foods that are free of the additives and chemicals that promote ADHD and poor scholarship.
Once class schedules are set and teachers have distributed outlines of what is expected, it is time for a planning session where Mom or Dad opens with, “Wow! It looks like you have your work cut out for you. Let’s see what we can do to schedule in the study time you need—and some time to goof off. Let’s sketch in some ideas on this weekly calendar to see what we can come up with.”
About the time kids are learning what’s expected of them at school, parents should be penciling in the date of the first open-house and PTA meeting. If there’s any kick-back because kids feel that parents go to school meetings to spy on them, tell them firmly that school isn’t just for kids, that it takes parents’ active support of schools to strengthen the quality of education and that when parents actively support schools, learning and teaching is a lot more enjoyable for everyone.
Montana’s small towns are separated by enough miles that each has its own school system. When the nearest entertainment center lies an hour or two down the road, townspeople take in local events on their nights out. The action in small-town Montana is in schools, taverns and churches — mostly schools. School talent shows, ball games, concerts, art shows and yes, PTA meetings are well-attended in Shelby, Montana. It’s not the same along the I-5 corridor where we’re up to our necks in distractions.
In Marysville and Arlington, fostering good schools and raising children to be good students becomes a matter of managing distractions. We all wake each morning with about sixteen hours of day ahead of us before we bed down again. We differ in how we divide our time between constructive activities and fascinating distractions that leave too little time for what really counts.
With an iPod in the pocket and ear-buds in the ears, youngsters are locked into a world of sound archived into 30 gigabyte memories. They choose the tunes so there are no surprises. And with their ears plugged up, chances are good that they won’t be surprised or enlightened by whatever transpires around them. Studying can’t be effective if half the mind is tracking on music.
Two-way distractions necessarily cut chunks from at least two youngsters’ time. A cell-phone call interrupts whatever another might be thinking or doing. Text-messaging has become a creative and fascinating text-coding art in which texters practice the skill of getting messages across using as few characters as possible. Of course text messages have to be answered which ties up the time and attention of a second person. I almost ran into a text-messager whose eyes and thumbs were distracted from driving as she wobbled her Honda onto the freeway onramp near Mount Vernon.
Television and computer distractions take the cake with over a hundred channels, many competing to see which can shock youngsters most effectively. Speaking of shockers, try this on for size: Children from homes where television and other electronic distractions consume the majority of leisure time are least likely to become good students. If that’s not upsetting enough, consider this: Children from homes where parents don’t model reading for information and pleasure are unlikely to become good students. Getting really ready for school may call for change.
In a world full of distractions, getting children ready for school can and should be a challenge. Bed time, waking-up time, healthy breakfasts, time scheduling, study hours, managing distractions — the whole package is necessary if children are to do well in school and grow confident through their accomplishments.
Correction: Apologies to the descendants of bank robber Willie Sutton. In my last column I ascribed his exploits to Willie Horton, a convicted murderer who, being released from custody, committed robbery, murder and rape. Bob Graef
Comments may be addressed to: rgraef@verizon.net.
