MARYSVILLE For the second year in a row, the states second largest high school brought students together for a cathartic bonding session that introduced students to each other in a brand new way.
A week-long program at the start of the school year lured them into a revealing and introspective exercise that taught themselves a lesson in sympathy and prejudice. Breaking Down the Walls is an effort to eliminate school bullying, racism, class divisions and so many other facets of human interaction that makes school a drudge and a danger for so many students.
What was surprising was how students warmed to the exercise, letting down their guard in the voluntary program. Of Marysville-Pilchuck High Schools 2,700 students, about 672 students and staff participated. This wasnt a typical touchy-feely diversity fair where people sit around a table and listen to a facilitator. M-P marketing teacher Jim Pankiewicz brought together a group of speakers who got kids to discard their social armor and lay their cards on the table for all to see. Last year was the first year of the program, when 473 students participated. At the end of the year security personnel noticed that fights were down 25 percent; Pankiewicz said the only thing different that year was the Breaking Down the Walls sessions.
The crux of the week is a culminating session called Crossing the Line; early in the week exercises and discussion groups were held to loosen up the crowd. Watching the Crossing the Line exercise was a gasp-inducing experience. Facilitator Scott Twordowski is a Seattle-based NBA referee who sees enough conflict in his day job. The rest of the time he helps schools get through the worst of human attributes by getting students to let down their game faces and reveal their true nature; thats not as bad as it sounds. The idea is that the better students know each other, the less conflict will ensue.
It went like this: in groups of 170 to 250, students lined one side of the M-P gym. With his soft voice, Twordo asked students a series of provocative and sensitive questions. They were allowed three answers: yes, no and I choose not to answer. If they were answering yes, they crossed the gym to the other line.
Twordowski started by asking how many of the 250 kids in the final session were left-handed: 18 were.
We always notice whos different from us, Twordowski stressed. Breaking Down the Walls is all about finding out who is just like us.
Questions during the hour-long exercise ranged from the innocuous Have you been made fun of on campus this year? to the age of a students parents or whether they are still living or not. Others asked if a student thought they were rich or poor, attractive or not. Then came the heart of the matter, questions about divorce, school suspensions or expulsions, and experience with sexual pressures or rape, and domestic violence.
What was startling was how openly students answered these sensitive questions. As Twordowski read the question, he would finish by telling the group, if thats the case, please cross the line. For this observer the surprise was how quickly and decisively the students answered the questions by plodding their Converses across the hardwood to stand at the other line, the line that showed them admitting they are depressed, that they are helping to pay the family bills, that they have an eating disorder, that they cut themselves. This was not Hester Prynne receiving the judgment of the community on her dress; this was a group of 250 awkward 15- to 18-year-olds being honest with themselves and each other.
Heres an unofficial recap of the results:
Has one of your parents passed away? 15 students crossed the line.
Has one of your siblings passed away? 14.
Have you ever let your parents down? 90 percent
Have you let your best friend down? 90 percent.
About 30 students admitted they work after school to help pay the bills. Remember, this was 30 out of a group of 250; extrapolate that to the entire student body and there could be 400 M-P students in the same boat.
About a third of the group walked the line and said they had been expelled or suspended at some time, a sixth said they or somebody they knew were gay or lesbian. All but a few admitted they had used the term Thats so gay, recently.
At each question the line on the north side of the gym would look at their peers who had crossed the floor. About 15 yards separated the two, but the looks on the students faces revealed a much bigger chasm, one that was bridged by hugs and tears.
Case in point: the question Do you think you are attractive? showed many kids that were by no means fashion plates or gifted with bone structure or good skin crossing the line happily to say they felt just fine about themselves, pimples and all. But the other side of the gym was filled with lanky cheerleaders and hunky jocks with wide-eyes.
A huge chunk of the crowd took the walk to admit they were unhappy with their body size and or shape; fully 70 percent of these were female, and they ran the gamut of the dress size/body fat continuums.
I sit there sometimes and I know whats coming and I have to look away, explained Pankiewicz, who said he knows most of the students pretty well. The results were largely the same for the other sessions participants said.
About 30 students said they suffer from depression, a fifth said they cut themselves. Sixty percent said they had or knew somebody who had committed suicide or made an attempt; 20 individuals admitted trying. The last question was answered in the affirmative by 80 percent, who thought they had admitted something to their peers that day.
In the discussion that followed one student explained how the exercise broadened her mind. You cant hate someone if you know the story behind them, she said.
To a student they all vowed to take it easier on each other during the school year.
The encouragement around this school is going to be huge, Twordowski said to the kids gathered around his feet during the post mortem.
Students said the walls were broken for good. Kristen Shalan is a 17-year-old in her last year of school and she explained why she answered some fairly difficult questions with no hesitation.
I felt that I should be honest and show that every kid goes through the same things, said Shalan. A lot of kids are the quote-unquote popular kids, and you will see them cross the line on the most difficult question and people realize, Wow, were all the same. So basically breaking down the walls, thats just being honest with myself and with others and I think that really opened up a lot of doors for a lot of things. Like I know now that Ive got a lot more friends; a lot of people see my point of view on life and I see a lot of peoples.
The openness of the exercise is what did it for Shalan, a striking brunette who looked like one of the popular kids herself; filling out a form or using an electronic gadget anonymously wouldnt have made the impact that Breaking Down the Walls did for her.
I would look every time I crossed back and forth just to see who was on my side and it surprised me, Shalan added. I saw like one of my really good friends crossing that never in the world did I guess would be on my side with me. It felt good in a way, but then it makes you think.
Juliesia Nicholson said shes more likely to talk to some of her peers after the breaking down the walls sessions, particularly the crossing the line exercise. A junior, Nicholson admitted to having stereotypes about some of her peers, usually based on looks or attire.
The goth people hang out with the goth, or the odd people hang out with the odd. Nicholson explained. I just kind of hung back, and I was just like, Oh, this is dumb, I wont like em, Ill just think theyre kind of weird, Ill get annoyed. But they were actually just like me.
Like Nicholson, Bree Suther-Porter was impressed with the number of students who admitted to being depressed, especially the happy-go-lucky types who seem to fill the ranks of the cheerleading and athletic squads.
When the question Are you currently depressed? came there was a girl I knew and she seemed really, really happy all the time and she crossed the line, Suther-Porter said. It was very surprising. It kind of brings people together because you see that everybody has like experiences.
Suther-Porter said she will try to reach out to that girl more now that shes got the scoop; she freely admitted to jumping the gun and trying to judge a book by its cover.
Ill probably talk to her more because before I thought that she was one of those people that I probably wouldnt be friends with. She seemed like Im too good for everybody and Im cute and Im going to ignore everybody else. But maybe I kind of judged her before I should have.
The week of activities cost about $20,000, with contributions from the M-P PTSA, DECA, ASB, the Marysville School District and the Marysville Noon Rotary, Pankiewicz said.