By Steve Powell
spowell@marysvilleglobe.com
MARYSVILLE – Danny Rowland of Marysville suffered a double whammy when it comes to grief in the spring of 2016.
He retired from his longtime job as a corporate airline pilot that April. And then a month later his wife died.
Like most people, he didn’t know what to do. Even though she had been in poor health for years, and he retired to be her caregiver, he didn’t think it would happen that fast.
They had been married 38 years. They had made retirement plans. When he got up to cook breakfast, and at night when he went to bed, “There is only one of you. You have to step back and evaluate.”
By the end of June he realized he “couldn’t sit around the house alone. I had to get out and be around people.”
A friend told him to get involved in a support group. “I called here, and it was pure serendipity,” he said of Mountain View Presbyterian Church’s Griefshare program. “I don’t know if it was luck or divine intervention when I walked through that door.
“That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” he continued. “Taking that first step and reaching out for help – opening up to a bunch of strangers.” But he’s so glad he did. The most help was finding out he wasn’t alone.
“None of us want to be on this path. The life we had planned is gone. We have to find a new normal,” he said. “God reached out and said this is where you need to be right now.”
Rowland said he is not a religious man, but he is spiritual. He’s seen some amazing sunsets, mountains and other sites while flying all around the world.
“When you see what God has given us – you know there is a higher power,” he said. “God stands beside me. It’s comforting knowing I’m not walking this path alone.”
Rowland said in Griefshare he especially likes the guided discussions with others who have lost someone. “You learn from them. You listen to others who are going down the path with you,” he said.
He added that he’s been “carrying a pretty big load” since 2016, but “my life now is wonderful.”
He has a girlfriend he met through match.com who lost her husband a few years ago in a mountain accident. Her two sons have bonded with him.
“I’m blessed they’re willing to share their lives with me,” he said.
He also bonded with a group of motorcycle enthusiasts at the local Sound Harley, drinking coffee and solving the world’s problems.
But, “I still miss my wife every day,” he said.
Rowland said he has a Type A personality so he likes to be in control of situations. But death is something no one can control.
As for the Surviving the Holidays program that will take place at the church Nov. 4, Rowland said he skipped it last year. “I got out of town” from Nov. 1 to late January, he said. “I had to put some distance between myself and my wife’s passing.”
He drove across country, to Mississippi where he was raised and elsewhere to see family. But he plans to take the class Thursday.
“What this church does for the community – it’s a real godsend. It helped me beyond words.”
Surviving holidays
set for Nov. 4
MARYSVILLE – Grieving a death can be especially painful during the holidays.
Mountain View Presbyterian Church presents, for the sixth consecutive year, a seminar to help bereaved individuals cope with the pressures and demands of the season. The public is invited no matter how long it has been since their loved one died. “Surviving the Holidays” will take place from 10 a.m. to noon Nov. 4 at 5115 100th St. NE.
Pre-registration is recommended by calling 360-659-7777 or emailing office@mtvpc.org. Workbooks are $5 at the door.
The seminar features video interviews with grief experts and people who have lost someone close. In a confidential, facilitator-led setting, participants then have an opportunity to discuss their concerns.
Go to www.mtvpc.org or www.griefshare.org for details and other times and places for the event.
